I struggled for a while whether to publish this or not. But if it helps one parent or one drug addicted child, then it’s worth it. Drug abuse and addiction is a huge problem.
Dear Sweet Child,
I pray that you are safe today. I pray you are not around dangerous dealers or users. I pray you are not out in the rain, that you have shelter. I pray that you have food and water. I pray that you do not overdose.
I remember when you were little and rode around in that little play car, you were just the cutest, sweetest thing I had ever seen. You were beautiful and smart and caring. I know you still are. I know your heart, and you are a very caring, loving person.
You walked and talked early. You’ve always been so smart. You always made the sweetest cards for me. And you wanted to help with everything. You wanted to go to school and be something in the health industry, helping people. Your love of animals was so apparent. You had compassion for every living thing. I know you are still that person, you just have to get back to that. Drug abuse and addiction has changed you.
In the younger years of school, you were on the honor roll. Then you started thinking you were a geek. The other kids made you feel that way. And you wanted to fit in and be in the “popular” group. That’s when things changed. You weren’t yourself anymore. You were willing to do anything to fit in. And that’s exactly what you did.
You became friends with a person you thought was so great, in the “popular” group. Little did I know you were going to that person’s house, at 13, and the mother was giving you alcohol. I always liked that friend and thought the mother was so nice. It turned out alcoholism played a big part in her life. You practically lived together, always at our house or theirs. I don’t know how I missed the signs. There must have been some. How I wish I would’ve known.
As I look back I should’ve seen some of the changes in you. The clothes you wanted, the lack of studying, the changes in friends. How could I not have seen this?!
So it all started with alcoholism, then on to marijuana, then I don’t even know what was between that and heroin. When I discovered you were using heroin, I was the most shocked, hurt, scared, distressed I had ever been in my life. Do you know how scared it makes your parents, when they see their child using? It’s a dark cloud that follows you every where, every day. For the love we feel for our child, is unlike any other. Someday you will know this love. And I pray you never have to feel this pain in your heart that your father and I feel every single day.
I had such high hopes when you went to rehab all those times. I felt a relief I can’t even describe. There for a while, you were clean and we were just so happy. And then the day came, you went out, saw your old friends, and thought you could use just one time. Well, you know now, that never, ever works!
All this started when you were 13. It’s now eight years later, and I just recently found out you are smoking meth. My heart aches for the return of my sweet, awesome, smart child. When you graduated high school, you wanted to go to college. I don’t know when I was so happy, as when I heard you say that. That was three years ago. You’re still doing nothing but drugs. It must be so devastating to live that way. Always wondering where you’ll get money to get the next dose, or whatever you call it. You don’t work, so you don’t have money coming in. I pray that you are safe every day.
I want you to know I will always be here for you. I will always love you, no matter what. When you have had enough and want to get help, I will be here to help you get it. I just pray that is very soon. I don’t want to see you in jail, going through withdrawal, or worse. When you are out, I hate it when the phone rings.
“8.7 percent of the population aged 12 years old or older used illicit drugs including marijuana, cocaine (including crack), heroin, hallucinogens, inhalants, or prescription-type psychotherapeutics used non-medically.” September, 2010 report: “National SurveY on Drug Use and Health” US Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration