DEAR ANONYMOUS DRUG ADDICT (A Letter Of Hope)
I’m just going to tell you, this is to my daughter.
I hope you don’t have this problem, but you can talk to me anytime, if you do.
I struggled for a while whether to publish this or not. But if it helps one parent or one drug addicted child, then it’s worth it. Drug abuse and addiction is a huge problem.
Dear Sweet Child,
I pray that you are safe today. I pray you are not around dangerous dealers or users. I pray you are not out in the rain, that you have shelter. I pray that you have food and water. I pray that you do not overdose. I remember when you were little and rode around in that little play car, you were just the cutest, sweetest thing I had ever seen.
You were beautiful and smart and caring. I know you still are. I know your heart, and you are a very caring, loving person. You walked and talked early. You’ve always been so smart. You always made the sweetest cards for me. And you wanted to help with everything.
You wanted to go to school and be something in the health industry, helping people. Your love of animals was so apparent. You had compassion for every living thing. I know you are still that person, you just have to get back to that.
Drug abuse and addiction has changed you. In the younger years of school, you were on the honor roll. Then you started thinking you were a geek. The other kids made you feel that way. And you wanted to fit in and be in the “popular” group. That’s when things changed. You weren’t yourself anymore. You were willing to do anything to fit in. And that’s exactly what you did.
You became friends with a person you thought was so great, in the “popular” group. Little did I know you were going to that person’s house, at 13, and the mother was giving you alcohol. I always liked that friend and thought the mother was so nice. It turned out alcoholism played a big part in her life. You practically lived together, always at our house or theirs. I don’t know how I missed the signs. There must have been some.
How I wish I would’ve known. As I look back I should’ve seen some of the changes in you. The clothes you wanted, the lack of studying, the changes in friends. How could I not have seen this?! So it all started with alcoholism, then on to marijuana, then I don’t even know what was between that and heroin. When I discovered you were using heroin, I was the most shocked, hurt, scared, distressed I had ever been in my life.
Do you know how scared it makes your parents, when they see their child using? It’s a dark cloud that follows you every where, every day. For the love we feel for our child, is unlike any other. Someday you will know this love. And I pray you never have to feel this pain in your heart that your father and I feel every single day.
I had such high hopes when you went to rehab all those times. I felt a relief I can’t even describe. There for a while, you were clean and we were just so happy. And then the day came, you went out, saw your old friends, and thought you could use just one time. Well, you know now, that never, ever works!
All this started when you were 13. It’s now eight years later, and I just recently found out you are smoking meth. My heart aches for the return of my sweet, awesome, smart child. When you graduated high school, you wanted to go to college. I don’t know when I was so happy, as when I heard you say that. That was three years ago.
You’re still doing nothing but drugs. It must be so devastating to live that way. Always wondering where you’ll get money to get the next dose, or whatever you call it. You don’t work, so you don’t have money coming in. I pray that you are safe every day. I want you to know I will always be here for you. I will always love you, no matter what.
When you have had enough and want to get help, I will be here to help you get it. I just pray that is very soon. I don’t want to see you in jail, going through withdrawal, or worse. When you are out, I hate it when the phone rings.
Love Always,
Mom
“8.7 percent of the population aged 12 years old or older used illicit drugs including marijuana, cocaine (including crack), heroin, hallucinogens, inhalants, or prescription-type psychotherapeutics used non-medically.” September, 2010 report: “National SurveY on Drug Use and Health” US Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration
This is a link to a post from a drug counselor, you might want to have a look. She’s a great writer and has posts to help people: This is from her AboutMe: In 2011 I graduated, as a chronologically mature student, with a Bachelor of Social Science (Social Welfare) from Charles Sturt University, Australia. The blog – QueasyPeasy – Linda Stewart:
Wednesday Work Reflection: Social Networks in Recovery
RECOGNIZE SYMPTOMS OF DRUG ABUSE AND ADDICTION
MOTHER GAVE ALCOHOL TO 13 YEAR OLDS
momndaughters
Owner at Mom 'N Daughter Savings
I am a SAHM.My youngest is 16 now.I have 5 kids in all.We've lived in Georgia now for almost four years.We moved here from Ohio for my husband's job.I love blogging and writing about my passions.I do reviews and giveaways and I try to get homeless animals new homes.
My story is also here about loving addicts, recipes, and crafts.
My story is also here about loving addicts, recipes, and crafts.
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Hi Jody, I work as a drug and alcohol counsellor in Australia and came across your letter, which is quite exceptional it its transparency and insight. Thank you for sharing on this level and I feel privileged to have been allowed to ‘hear’ your pain and learn about your experience as a mother of a child affected by drugs. One of my children chose this path too and totally ‘got’ the emotions and could identify with every word in your letter. I wish I could have written like this to my child, it may have made a difference.
As a counsellor, I work with parents who are substance dependent and each week I like to post something relevant to my work. I wonder if you would give me permission to link my post to your letter. Because I do not use other social media I am unable to use the share buttons. I look forward to hearing from you. Once again thank you.
Linda recently posted..Wednesday Work Reflection: Social Networks in Recovery
Linda,
I left you a comment about this on your blog, Social Networks in Recovery post. Thank you for this!
Looking forward to connecting more.
Jody
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I AM IN RECOVERY, HAVE BEEN FOR 4 YRS NOW BY THE GRACE OF GOD!!! THERE IS HOPE! THANKS FOR SHARING
Crissie, That’s wonderful! Congrats! Thanks for telling me this, it does give me hope! She’s in jail right now, soon to be in re-hab. So we’re praying for her!
A very inspiring letter of hope. I hope those drug addicts who’ll be able to read this letter will realize how much pain they brings to their parents. This touches my heart
Thank you Vicky! It’s been a very hard time. And I hope this does make someone think twice before using or starting.
I was one of those children who was super smart, and even looked down on other kids who did drugs while growing up. I became addicted to antianxiety drugs and alcohol at age 18. I was also a heavy pot smoker while in a severely abusive relationship. My family and friends almost gave up on me. I had a lot of bad things happen to me in life, and drugs and alcohol were how I decided to try to forget these things. I eventually realized I had a problem, started attending NA meetings on my own even doing service work for a few years, and got clean. Fast forward 7 years, of which I have been clean and sober minus a short-lived relapse after 5 years clean, and I am happily married and a proud mother of a 1 year old boy. My relationships with family and friends couldn’t be any closer. I am now the person many people come to in crisis. There is hope for struggling addicts, there is a better, more fulfilling life out there when you are ready to surrender. It is a long road, but we all can overcome our addictions and find healthier outlets for coping. I have seen so many recovering addicts die in the years in NA, and it actually makes me more determined to stay clean.
Thank you for sharing. Thats just great you’re clean and have a family now. I hope that happens for this person in the letter, too.
thanks,
Jody
Thank you for sharing. Hoping this helps someone. I know this could not have been easy to go through or to share.
Erin S recently posted..
Wow. That must have been hard to write, and even harder to share. Drug addiction is so mind boggling. I’ve seen it first hand, and hope the best for your family.
Emily recently posted..jumping into parenting #NaBloPoMo
thank you so much for sharing this story. I had a very best friend all through high school. He had been a drinker and pot head before we met but gave it all up and was even going to meetings. we spent every hour of every day together, my parents even let him sleep over but in the living room of course…we were best friends what was the big deal? well….our Parents thought we should get married and behind our backs picked put houses and baby names. lol time passed and I will not deny that I was in love with Jeremy…but whenhe did not show any interest I moved on. Met someone we fell in love and got married…then he cheated and we split. Jeremy and i became friends again. let me just get to the point. he quit coming around and one night knocked on our door because his sister had been beat up and he needed my Brother’s help…my parents sent him on his way because they wanted nothing to do with the wild man they saw….It was him who had beaten up his sister. that afternoon a call came over the scanner…for a suicide. it was at my parents neighbor’s house some one had hung themselves in their garage. I did not even know My Jeremy was staying there…I had no idea it was him. I went outside to smoke in time to see them wheeling his lifeless body out on a gurney. He got really bad into meth…had his babies taken away and the final straw…his wife served him with divorce papers. Thank You METH for taking away my best friend.
heartbreaking. My brother died from meth. Not directly, indirectly. Its a bad bad thing.