Perfect Day Outside and So Depressed Inside

It’s a beautiful, sunny day outside!

But inside I’m so depressed and so tired of it!

 

I’m so tired of this depression! For the last two months, it’s been really dark and bad for me. Of course there is a reason, but I won’t go into that.

I feel so sad and lonely 24 hours a day! No matter what I do, nothing helps. Even when I try not to think about things, it’s always there!

I can’t even listen to any music. Especially my favorites! I miss that, but if I listen to it, the tears just start flowing. And I hate crying!

I can only watch certain shows and movies too. Nothing even the least little bit romantic. So there’s some of my favorite shows I haven’t been watching. Writing all this, isn’t helping either.

There’s only one thing that will help me. But I can’t get into that either.

This week end (3/20) the husband is going to be gone until Monday. He’s going to visit his mother in South Carolina. I thought I would be doing something really special one or two nights, but I guess not.

These photos are outside my back door. So you can see how beautiful it is out there! It’s 70 degrees today! There’s a little breeze, it’s just perfect.  And yet I have to feel this bad! It’s so unfair!

There’s just nothing I can do to feel better! I can’t even make myself exercise and that’s been going on for weeks now! I don’t even want to get up off the couch. So no cleaning gets done, which isn’t liked by certain people here in the house! So that makes me feel worse when they notice.

I’ve prayed to God to help me with what needs to get better. But I guess he doesn’t think that should happen for some reason. I sure do! I wish he would hear my prayers and help with this. He knows what I need!

I hope noone else feels like this! I wish I knew how you are feeling! And what’s going on in your life right now. Are your relatives alright? Do you have to do a lot of running around? Is there someone in your life that you love? I sure hope things are good with you!