BULLYING – HOW TO HELP YOUR CHILD
One million children were victims of Cyber Bullying in 2011 on Facebook, alone! This is a country-wide problem that needs to solved!
21% of teens have been cyber bullied at least once. Week after week this technological cruelty is in the news. Courts are always considering pressing charges on those who impersonate others on Facebook. Legislatures are always amending laws dealing with sexting. They can only do so much.
Some of our kids are cyber bullied all day and all night on their cell phones and computers. Several people can join in on any of the social media sites.
An embarrassing photo or video can be posted to thousands, before you even know it’s out there!
We need to teach our children the ramifications of using all this technology inappropriately. Most parents don’t even know this is going on.
We need to really pay attention. Your child might become depressed, their grades could go down, they might stay in their room all evening. To help get them out of this, you need to talk to them. Ask them if school is going good. Sometimes it’s hard to get them to talk. I try to take a ride, or sit outside and just let them do the talking. When we’re watching a movie or tv show when something like this comes up, I always take the opportunity to discuss it with my 14 year old son.
When they do tell you they are being picked on, ask what you can do to help. Be careful not to react too strongly, they might stop talking because they don’t want to upset you. Don’t ever ask, “what are doing to bring this on”. He is the victim, there’s no reason or excuse for bullying. It’s nothing they are doing.
As tempting as it may be, we don’t want to teach them to retaliate. We need to help them learn how to solve the problem. Bullies tend to pick on kids that take it to heart and show a big reaction. We need to teach our kids to stand up for themselves and not let bullies overpower them. I think we should teach them how to avoid bullies and who to go to if they feel unsafe. Practice role playing and teach them what to say and do. They need to feel in control and safe.
One thing they can do at school to feel safe and in control, is to have a counselor or teacher they can go to. When they get picked on they could maybe go to their office and talk or just sit for a bit. That way they feel like they have some control over the situation.
Make sure your child knows you are on his side and that you support him. Let him know there are things that can be done to help him. If they are being physically picked on, they should know they can do whatever they need to, to protect themselves. But if they get in a fight they will probably get in trouble at school, but certainly not at home. (This is my opinion)
As a parent, this makes us very angry. We need someone to talk to, also. Maybe a friend, your spouse, or a teacher. It’s just heart-breaking when your child is being picked on! Talking to others that have the same problem can be a help.
One movie I think all pre-teen and teenagers should see is, The Perks Of Being A Wallflower. This movie shows a “loner” teenager making new friends and has other bullying scenes. I’m not trying to promote this, I just think it’s great for kids to see. It really makes you think about bullying and shows how the victims feel. (You will want to check into this movie if you have younger children, not all scenes are appropriate for them)
Being bullied really damages their self-esteem. Finding something they’re good at can really help. Maybe a sport, or art, or swimming, anything they love to do. Every time they succeed it builds their self-esteem back up.
It can take quite a while for our children to get over being bullied, but finding small pieces of controlling it and exerting it, will help. It does take time for them to get over this.
SIGNS KIDS ARE BEING BULLIED:
Getting upset after a phone call or text
Not going to the restroom at school – bullying tends to happen away from adults and cameras
Losing friends they previously had
Being more isolated and skipping activities they used to love
Spending more time in their room
Talking negatively about themselves
I’M GOING TO WRITE A SERIES OF BULLYING POSTS IN HOPES OF RAISING AWARENESS AND HELPING
Were You Bullied AS A Kid? I Was
Animated Poem By A Victim
Boy Commits Suicide, Parents On Ellen
IF YOU HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS, PLEASE WRITE THEM IN THE COMMENTS
You have pointed out the effects of bullying so well..our tweener was being bullied in grade 9…luckily she did not post any pictures and I went and talked to the father…But I am sad to say that her best friend in grade 10, who had posted things to a boyfriend, was bullied cybernetically so much that she committed suicide by jumping off our highest bridge…at 15
Ronald,
So sorry to hear that! I wish we could get this stopped! Kids just don’t realize how later on in life, what these kids say to them won’t matter! I feel so bad for these people! I hope this has stopped for your daughter!
Jody
This blog outlines the importance of non violence towards kids and teens. Adolescent period people go through puberty you turn into a mature you and if bullying occurs it interferes and this is not sublime
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What amazing information! I work at a school and I see bullying once in awhile. It is so frustrating! Luckily our school is quick to stop such issues before they get serious.
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Thank you for sharing as I have four children and one who is disabled I would want to always have a close eye on them and I know we cant be with them 24/7 and I always tell them to be nice to others and never make fun of anyone so they know better as of now But I can not guarantee that people wont be like that to them and to ignore them and tell them to shut up and leave me alone and tell some one.
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Thanks so much for the post. My sons are 4 and 6, and as they get older this will be good info to have. I worry because my oldest son is bullied at school already.
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Great post, my son is 11 and at the age where kids can be relentless.
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Bullying is a HUGE issue, and most people believe it begins as kids get older. Unfortunately, it starts at a VERY YOUNG AGE! My almost 4 year old has had issues with bullies all year in her classroom, and because so many people just look at it and think “kids will be kids” they don’t see it as bullying until it’s too late. No matter how old your kids are, make sure you are watching for the signs and help them learn to stand up for themselves! And if they can’t do it, make sure you are there to help them.
Thanks for the awesome post
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This is such a hard topic to discuss
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Very Good post. Great info. Will wait to hear more!!!!
I thought that after I graduated from High School, I wouldn’t have to deal with bullying anymore, and I was SO WRONG. SOme people just never grow up, and never stop being the High School bully…
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