Would You Leave Your Daughter In Jail For Drug Addiction
Sometimes we have to impose “tough love”.
One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do was leave my daughter in jail. We were afraid for her life. She had been on drugs for 2 years and nothing was working. She was over 21 so we couldn’t force her into re-hab. Every day was just a total worry. Every time the phone rang I was scared to death something had happened to her.
Then one night she got stopped driving a friends car. They searched all of them and found meth. Well, of course she went straight to jail for that. When we found out, we were upset and relieved at the same time. After a couple days, she was able to call us and we set up an account so we could talk to her, some. The problem with that was she would call and cry to her dad and I, wanting to come home. We just told her straight out we weren’t going to bail her out. She’s known for a long time she needed to get help.
So we put some money on her account, so she could buy extra food and clothes in there. She told me it was cold in there, I felt horrible about that. And she just wanted to come home, saying she would go to re-hab. We had heard that before, we knew we couldn’t trust her. A couple of her friends were willing to pay to get her out if we signed for it. But we told them we just weren’t going to do that.
A week went by and sometimes when she called she sounded a little better. She said she knew she should stay there. She was getting back to her right mind. Meth really messes with you. It’s not like other drugs, it’s worse. It actually changes your brain and your personality. Her teeth were getting bad and hair was thinning and falling out somewhat. Every day that’s all she was caring about was getting her next fix. No matter what she had to do to get it. Of course that includes stealing from your family.
After two weeks, we were able to visit her, it was Thanksgiving morning. I was so upset she wasn’t home for that day. But when I saw her she looked so much better. She only weighed about 100 lbs. and was always pale. But that day she looked better, she was smiling and talking. She was actually getting back to being herself. Needless to say, I was thrilled. She also said she knew she had to stay in there for a little while.
Another week went by and one of her friends went up and bailed her out. She just showed up here at the door. I couldn’t believe it! We were so mad at that person! We told her she had to go to re-hab right away. We had already been calling places, trying to get her in. None had a bed open for two more weeks. The only one we found is sort of like a half-way house.
So we took her there and paid to get her in. We have to pay so much a month, and buy her food and other needs. That was almost 2 weeks ago now, and so far she’s doing good. She has to find a job pretty quick now. They have meetings almost every day, a curfew and get drug tested.
She was able to come here for a little while a couple times. I can tell she’s doing good. She’s gained a little weight and talks to us about her future. So, so far everything’s going good. I pray every day she doesn’t go back to drugs, though. I’m so scared for her! I would give anything if this would all end and she would get a job, then go to school. She’s so smart and was always planning on going to college.
Anyway, if any of you are going through anything like this, just know there is hope! And keeping a drug addict in jail is the best thing if they won’t go to re-hab. Don’t feel guilty about it, it’s all we can do sometimes to save our kids!
Do you think you could leave your daughter in jail for drug addiction?
I wrote a letter about 6 months ago, A Letter To A Drug Addict
momndaughters
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I feel for you. Watching our children suffer is the worse kind of pain especially when they do it to themselves. I believe drug and alcohol abuse is a way of self medicating depression/anxiety and pain. (emotional pain) I would cut them off from my life unless they did rehab. If they refused rehab and jail was the only option then that is what you have to do. It’s not an easy decision. The hardest part is being strong in the face of it.
Rosanne,
Thank you! You’re right! She’s in jail now and we didn’t bail her out. So she has to stay there until there’s an opening at the jail re-hab. She’s going to end up being gone for around a year. So we’re praying this works.
Jody
quite great put up, i absolutely seriously like this website, persist in it
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My husband is a corporal in one of the State prisons. Drug use is just as rampant in prison and jail as it is on the streets. It costs more, but it is very readily available. My husband runs the Segregation unit which is lock down for things people do in prison and most come there because they got caught doing drugs. I am not at the point with my kids of dealing with drug use because they are younger, so I can’t say for sure what I would do-that whole haven’t walked a mile in those shoes yet. BUT, I don’t think jail or prison is the way to get clean, and I doubt I would go that route. Most just start using again when they get out, and end up right back in the system. Our experience from years of husband working in the jail system is that this isn’t the best way to get clean, nor do most learn a lesson that way.
Allyson Bossie recently posted..
Allyson, thank you for your comment. She was in county jail for about three weeks. She’s out now, but if she doesn’t stay clean she might go to prison. I pray for her every day. Thanks again!
I could have wrote both this and the letter, this year. The big difference is she has 2 daughters, we now have guardianship over one. The other daughter lives with her dad that now has decided we cannot see her, even though we were closer to her than he was. Her trouble with the law put her in jail for a year. I had testing on her daughter and she needs special ed and needs help with depression, she is only 8. I wrote to her and told her if she does not stay off drugs and get it together she will never get her daughter back. Parents never get to stop worrying.
Laura, I’m sorry to hear about your problems. I feel for her children. It sounds like the father isn’t doing the right thing not letting you see the other little girl. I hope the little one you have gets better, she’s so young to have depression and all. But it sounds like you’re doing everything to help her, so I’m sure she will. I want to get all the drug dealers out of this world! They get rich and our kids get sicker and sicker. Thanks.