I Visited My Daughter In Jail Last Night
Being the month of Christmas, it wasn’t easy to be with her.
I always hate it when we have to leave her there.
This picture is just what it’s like, this is not my daughter. She’s on the other side of a window and we have to talk through a phone.
In case you haven’t read anything else from here, she’s in jail for possession of Meth and Heroin. She was arrested a few times and this time they sentenced her to ten years in prison. Suspended if she goes to jail and then the Jail Re-hab for 6 months. So she’s waiting to go there.
We go see her almost every Monday. I love sitting there talking to her. I miss her so much! And she looks good and has gained some weight, thank goodness! She weighed about 100 lbs. when she got arrested. She thinks she’s fat now, but she looks great! Her normal weight is about 120.
I think she does weigh a bit more than that now, though. But they get to buy soup, coffee and some snacks each week. (We give her the money for that). And they eat because they’re so bored. In this jail, they never, ever go outside or do anything. Some of them get to clean now and then. And they do have church. But that’s it. In prison, those murderers and rapists and all get to do a lot more than that! I can’t believe they don’t take them outside and have some kind of exercise for them.
She’s been there since last April, so around 8 months, so far. She’s on the waiting list to go to the Jail Re-hab they have here. It’s a LOT like Boot Camp. But hopefully after being there for almost a year she’ll truely have her mind made up to stay clean! I pray every day for that to happen!
I know I can’t control what she does. She’s 23 now. She’s missing so much. She was planning on going to college in the her Junior year in high school. She said she was interested in being a nurse. I was so happy and so excited! Back then I had no idea how bad things were going to get. Apparently she was drinking and doing some pills back then. In her senior year she was in bad shape and couldn’t go to school. We got her in a night class they had there and she did graduate.
I just can’t understand why I didn’t know! I should’ve spyed on her more and went through her room more closely. I honestly didn’t know she was doing all that. Hind site!
I’ve decided I’m going to buy her a few Christmas presents to give her when she gets home. I just don’t want to go shopping and not get her anything. This is really going to be the hardest month for me. Christmas means family to me and I so wish she could be here, even if it was just for that one day!
She has an older brother and sister, that live out-of-state. And they’re both coming here for a few days. And she also has an older sister, (27) that lives here and her younger brother is 16. So everyone will be here, except her. Her oldest sister, out-of-state, wants to go visit her when she gets here. That’s not going to be easy for her. She just had breast cancer a year ago. She has 4 kids. Her oldest son, also 23, is in prison for the same as my daughter. They both lived in the same small town, before we moved here.
On the phone today my daughter in jail, asked me what I was doing and I said nothing much, working on my blog, watching tv, some. And she said I could tell her we were putting the tree up. (Her dad had told her that before I got the phone). And I said well right now, he’s just putting it together. That was true, but I wasn’t about to tell her we were putting it up! It’s too heart-breaking to talk to her about Christmas!
For my other kids and grandkids I have to be in a jolly, happy mood for Christmas. I’m going to think about how safe she is and good she looks and acts. But in the back of my mind, I’m going to be missing her terribly! I just hope no tears start.
So does anyone have any pointers for me for this time of year? If you’re in this situation, I hope you have a great holiday and try to keep good thoughts. I pray every day for her. Stay strong!
Hang in Mama! There is a great chance that things will work out for her. I am speaking from experience. At her age I was in the same boat, minus the Heroine. I was caught under the influence of meth. I did some jail time and participated in the drug court program and because I completed that so successfully the judge recommended I enter an in house drug rehabilitation center in which if I completed that successfully, he would wipe my record completely clean. I did successfully complete it and have a clean record. From that point I stayed out of trouble and worked at an animal hospital. I am now almost 40, married for 10 years, stay at home Mom of 3 wonderful Children. I thank God everyday for that 2nd chance. Your Daughter looks like a nice girl. Obviously caught up in the wrong things, like I was. I am hopeful she will turn it around. I’m proof that it can happen. Hang in there Mama. You tell her I think she can do it…. she just has to want it.
Merry Christmas to you and your Family.
Lisa,
That’s so awesome you got through all that and they took if off your records! Congratulations! I’m glad you have a great life now! I pray every day that will happen for her. Thank you for telling me this. It does give me hope! Oh, this is just a random picture, it’s not my daughter, sorry.
Thank you for commenting!
Jody
Hi,
This gave me chills. I don’t know where you are but is sure sounds a lot like my home town. I am an addict. Working on getting clean. I just got out jail. It is very hard on my family every time I have gone.
I think that everything you are doing for her is awesome. -keeping money on her books, visiting regularly, accepting phone calls… soooo many people do not have that. In fact most inmates do not have that at all. Most people upon getting released do not even have homes to go to.
She has a real chance here but the only way she is going to stay clean is if she wants to stay clean. You can help, along with her probation officer and the courts to secure boundaries are in place ie- viewed drug screens, curfews, things she will hate but things that will keep her alive.
Here is the part you don’t want to hear…. At some point those boundaries will be lifted…. She will be released from probation&supervosion & if she hasn’t completely and totally surrendered herself… & decided that her sobriety is the most important thing in her life… No one can do it for her.
It’s a scary scary thing.
Phillip Seymore Hoffman had been clean for over 20 years…
I guess my point is just love her & show compassion. Stay in her corner- it sounds like you wouldn’t leave if everyone tried to force you out anyway… That’s awesome. She will need you.
For now keep doing what you are doing. Write more letters. Spray them with perfume. Send more pictures & have her Dad tell her he loves her just a couple more times… & have him send some letters too. Ps even like a 5 sentence letter is awesome. It will make her day.
Kate,
thank you so much for your comment. I appreciate you telling me all this. Congrats and good luck to you!
Jody